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The Weight of Leadership

Writer's picture: Christopher AlfordChristopher Alford

Updated: Jan 9, 2023

A while back, a couple of church members and I were discussing a mission project. We were talking about ways to provide sewing machines for a missionary family in South Africa for their sewing ministry. As we brainstormed different ideas, the statement was made by the couple, "If it's important to you, it's important to us." We continued on in the conversation and had come up with a plan moving forward. However, mentally I was stopped dead in my tracks. For the first time in my ministry at Arlington, I felt the full weight of leadership.


I wasn't fully prepared for that moment because many of my professors and pastor friends had indicated that it takes quite a bit of time to truly earn the trust of the congregation. And yet, here I am, less than a year into my first senior pastorate and a couple has expressed a huge amount of trust in me. As they left my office, I reflected on that moment and let the weight of it overwhelm me.


Who am I to be trusted so freely? What if my plans to support this missionary couple fall through? How would I ever regain their trust? Am I worthy to be a leader of anyone? I've barely proven myself.


My mind raced with the reality set before me. I am a shepherd with sheep following me from day one. While some are naturally staying back and making sure I don't fall off a cliff first, there are some who are standing right there next to me. That moment brought the full meaning of Hebrews 13:17 which says,


"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account."


A holy and healthy fear fell upon me that day and I pray it will never leave. I will give an account of the decisions I make and the paths I lead my congregation down. The flock, while ultimately under the watch of the Good Shepherd, has been placed under my care as an undershepherd (1 Peter 5:1-4). And so, carefully, I press on in the task of leading God's people, trusting that the Lord will care for them even when I stumble.

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